Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” (Luke 12:13 NIV)
I have a confession to make. This week my family and I have been taken care of in ways I am certain we do not deserve or at least that I do not deserve. God has gone over and above and I have spent the last few days repenting because I know that I am not really worthy of the gifts that have been showered on me.
In the midst of being blessed, I have seen other people, good people, people I love, people who work harder than I do, others who certainly deserve more than I have recieved, have heaped upon them heartbreak and sorrow.
I am going to read into Luke 12: 13 for a minute. Its purely my biblical imagination with very little exegesis behind it so be careful in referring to it outside of my imagination. I imagine a younger brother, whose father has died, who is in the throngs of guilt, who is left without security, seeing his brother get everything his father has worked so hard for. He has heard that Jesus speaks and acts powerfully on behalf of those who are treated unjustly and so he seeks Jesus out assuming that Jesus would see the injustice of his situation.
Isn’t this how we stand before God?
“God, make life fair for me!”
“I deserve at least as much as that person over there!”
“How could you not bless me?”
“I don’t deserve this!”
“…I am not worthy.”
When we get wrapped up in what we deserve, what is fair, how unequal things are when we compare ourselves to someone else, we lose sight of the fact that a relationship with Jesus is not about us living (and getting) the life we “deserve”. God makes it pretty plan in the book of Job that bad things don’t happen just to the people who “deserve” them because of their sins. And good things certainly don’t just happen to faithful people.
Our relationship with Jesus should lead us to become the person that God wants us to be in every circumstance of life; in the times we should be most grateful because we do not deserve His gifts and in the the times when life has brought us low.
For me, I hope to answer the call to live graciously, with imagination and courage, pointing to God’s amazing love whether I am receiving good gifts or whether I am brought to my knees with the pain of living. I am certainly not there yet. I am still like the young man who came to Jesus asking for my fair share, but I hope with time and patience and prayer that day by day I will get closer to not noticing what I am due because I am focusing on Him.